It is not often that a single thought evokes tears; it’s not often that we are driven to a point where your only reaction is one that is in pure humility to your own existence because you feel the guilt of nature’s isolation.
We are – as beings on this planet – forced to interact, and that in itself has become a sad reflection of how it all was meant to be. A child that is starved of physical contact dies; not because there is some unexplained biological dependency that children have on their mothers but because we are all children of a greater belonging than one which we can so easily define.
I recently found myself engulfed by memories that seem a distant past life, a memory of elation and joy, youthfulness I am sure we all detach ourselves from in pursuit of our ever expanding social profiles. It feels taken away yet I know I left it behind to make space for adult things. Corinthians 13:11 reads: “When I was a child, I used to speak like a child, think like a child, reason like a child; when I became a man, I did away with childish things.”
Have I done away with more than I really needed to, are my memories as a boy playing in the plains of Botswana not an aspiration I should endeavor to? Not to play as I did but to find true joy and happiness. What on this planet do we know of that gives pure joy like the simple pleasures of a child in a world full of miracles?
Part of my being able to access this is also in response to my immediate milieu – what do we strive for when we forget that the reasons we are proud of who we are is because there is an untainted, unspoiled and innocent part of who we are that we all hold onto? Some hold onto it close, as a reference; not to forget that promise you made to yourself in your most personal and open of moments. “Gotta keep the flame alight and not live my life a dream deferred.”
I remember the promise I made to myself; one I had forgotten: “to always be as happy as I can be. I might have not gone through the channels I envisioned nor followed the pathways drawn for me but to have come around to a point where that memory is remembered is truly an enlightening feeling.
You are truly only responsible for yourself, who you meet and what you feel for them comes second to how you want to make them feel about you. If we’re all honest about whom we really are to ourselves first then the need to fix, disguise or even change becomes obsolete.
Dou is the Design and Technical Manager at GrownNSexy. Read his full profile on our contributors’ page.
Image: Fountain-Frank (c)