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What am I doing wrong?

Let’s face it – most celebrity relationships are not exactly stable or, in some cases, even healthy. But there’s a lot that can be learned from them. First-time contributor, Ennes Kay, examines a few of them in an attempt to find a cure for her terminal case of singledom.

Now, I know people (my sister is one), who have never been single long enough to appreciate the cold, harsh realities of nursing a Sunday hangover alone, knowing your coupled-up friends are either snuggled up together or out enjoying a greasy cure-all brunch together. After nearly six years of sad singledom and with the big three–oh snapping at my heels I’ve decided that perhaps it is me Before you feel too sorry for me, I am by my own admission, a little suspicious of men and perhaps a little picky.  So, in a bid to free myself from this lonely life I’ve been studying the ways and wiles of women who manage to jump from man to man and women who fail to get the ring.

1. Jennifer Lopez

The re-bound queen.  Just divorced from husband no. 3 and already on her second fling with back-up dancer (surprise, surprise) Casper Smart after a brief affair with Bradley Cooper.  Now we can’t all be J Lo but there is a definite lesson to be learnt here.  This woman has dated and married actors, musicians, producers, back-up dancers and waiters.  You’ll be single forever if your laundry list of what you expect from your partner stipulates his profession.  I’m not saying give the parking attendant outside Pick ‘n Pay your number but try think outside the suited and booted corporate box.

 

 2. Pippa Middleton

Sister of the Duchess of Cambridge and owner of a very enviable bum, so some (who may or may not be African –  just saying) say, was recently dumped by her long time boyfriend cricketer Alex Loudon.  Apparently despite being the sister-in-law of the next most important monarch in the world, being fun, intelligent and hot, she is not ‘marriage material’ due to her overtly sociable lifestyle.  Huh?  It seems it was Alex’s disapproving mum who put these ideas in his head.  We all want to be with someone who has a great relationship with their family, but mother-in-laws, sisters and friends can be haters when it comes to you.  Don’t discount the independent/ orphaned/ black sheep of the family.  He has a mind of his own and depending on the mind in question; this could be a good thing.

3. Amanda Knox

Go ahead and roll your eyes, but please read!  Having just been cleared of the murder of her friend Meredith Kercher and now back in Seattle after serving time in an Italian jail; ‘Foxy Knoxy’ is already moving in with new boyfriend, James Terrano.  He’s an old friend and knew her before the sensational murder which followed an apparent sex game gone wrong.

Now as far as ‘marriage material’ goes, you would think that this very public, very seedy turn in her life would exclude her from ever finding someone.  Eeegh!  Wrong.  Lesson – if you really, really don’t want to be alone, sometimes you have to go back.  Back to an old friend you previously ruled out, back to an ex, back to your hometown.  Sometimes it’s just the only way.

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